I am poor.  This is no fun.  My parents just moved into a new house and they are buying all kinds of things.  What do I get?  Nothing.  I guess it was partly my decision to move out.  But I just couldn't take it any more.  They were crazy.  I just need some money.  If I had started early on finding scholarships I would be doing fine.  I cant help but blame myself. 

My step-mother is still trying to be all buddy-buddy with me.  She keeps e-mailing me like we are close friends.  She drives me insane.  She makes me cranky.  She is just trying to get info out of me so that she can use it against me later and make me feel like I am useless.  My new motivation for graduating is to prove to her that just because I like to kiss girls, doesn't mean that I won't succeed in life.  And when they expect me to take care of them when they get older.  Well, we will just see how they like it when I get to throw it in their faces.  I still dont understand, and I guess I never will, how he can't see that she ruined everything.  We were all fine until she showed up.  But somehow its all my fault. WTF??? Stupid men and thier penis's.  She took my father away from me.  She is trying to get my dad against me and my brother so that her kids can be his only focus.  She is pushing us away and she knows it.  I dont know how he doesn't see it! I used to look up to my father.  That has obviously changed.  I even asked her how on earth I can fix my relationship with my dad if they wont even listen to my side of the story.  I do 1 thing wrong and I cant let it go.  And to top it all off I stop lying to them and they dont like the truth either.  So pretty much I can keep this all going by me being happy.  Or I can fix everything and do everything in my power to "make my family happy." Yeah, I will get right on that. AHHHHHHHHHHH what a bitch!!!!!  I dont know what she thinks, but my dad's mom still loves me, she helps me out with school.  She seems to think that my grandmother is ashamed of me.  Its not like I'm walking around with "I'm a lesbian" stamped on my forehead.  Thats not all of who I am.  That is my personal business.  I dont just walk up to random people and introduce myself as "Hi I'm Kylie I like girls."  She seems to think that that is the main part of my life.  Not oh she is gonna be an Engineer.  She is in College.  No, I swear all of the people she comes in contact with knows that I have a girlfriend.  AHHHHHH  Why does she do this??? I just dont understand.  And I probably never will.  What a bitch.

No matter what they think, I love you Jennifer.  They will never change my mind.